During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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