if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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