you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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