Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
