States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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