Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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