dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
