grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
