Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
