She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Congratulations! We have a period
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