Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize