i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
