Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
pray to the hookup gods
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
