"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
