I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
