hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize