I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize