THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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