were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize