elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
