You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
