Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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