My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
what day is it and did you see me today?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
