how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
This toilet bowl is my home.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
