Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
