We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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