The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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