I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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