I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I think a kid would responsible me up
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
how drunk are you?
Several
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
