You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I came so hard my ears popped.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
