im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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