We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
