Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize