Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
