I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
