you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
