fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
