im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
