I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
