how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
