Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
