She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
