He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
