I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
What drink are we having for lunch?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
