Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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