Fuck appropriateness.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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