no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
