Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
