Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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