There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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