dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize