Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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