Just cropdusted the office
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize