You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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