I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
