To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
