I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
it hurts more in the daytime
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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