Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
