Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
