And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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