just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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