I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
